Monday, February 1, 2010
I am finally getting around to an update! It has been quite a busy 6 days around here. I had my appointment this past Tuesday, to discuss my lab work and treatment plan.
We are so thankful that I came back negative for thyroid problems. I very much thought that may be the source of all of these issues. But seriously, who wants a syndrome or disease? We are very, very pleased that the Lord decided, in His grace, not to have us go down that path.
So what IS wrong? In short, I am deficient in quite a few major hormones, and low in one other. Progesterone, testosterone, estrogen, and DHEA are the main players here. Also, the iron stores in my liver are incredibly low. Why? Only the Lord knows. Women can have hormonal problems at any age.
So what's the good news? Well, first, it seems that through the rest and lifestyle changes implemented in the past month, I've been able to overcome the Adrenal Fatigue. Amazing, huh? My cortisol levels were normal, and it's just amazing how the Lord literally took that off of our plate. Second, the treatment for hormonal deficiencies is relatively simple. Take a few supplements, eat foods that provide what your body needs to produce these hormones. Oh, and I have to eat tons of protein (yuck).
We are so thankful for a relatively calm beginning of the end to all of this. It is quite amazing how badly a hormonal imbalance can affect a person. I have started feeling better one day at a time, and haven't needed ANY help while Shawn is at work! I am thankful EVERY DAY now for all the things I took for granted before. I so missed doing all of the wifely and motherly things that so consumed my time.
I loved my life before. Now it's better than I every could have imagined. We do not deserve a mercy like this, and so many other people must travel down that difficult road of sickness and infirmity without the relief of physical symptoms that I have been given. I am so blessed and thankful to be able to, slowly but surely, begin to regain my health and strength. The Lord is good. And He would have been JUST as good if the diagnosis would have been worse. For some reason though, He relented. And for that I am so very thankful.
There is so much to be learned during times of physical and mental pain. I have had many days in the past few months where I've been too depressed to get out of bed, had such horrible pain that I could not sleep, and had constant headaches and migraines that would hang on for days and days. Those three things alone exhausted my body and left me sobbing constantly. The grief of my last miscarriage, the loneliness of being confined to the walls of my home, and the inability to remember things, carry a thought, or effectively understand books, literally left my nerves raw and undone. I have prayed more in the past few months than probably in the past few years combined.
I know what it's like to be physically unable to do my devotions. I know what it's like to sleep for 15 hours a day for a week, and then spend the next week literally without any physical rest at all. I know the pain of not being able to trust a single emotion and literally having to leave every decision up to Shawn. I could not handle even picking out my own dinner without sobbing. He showed me such tender love and empathy, such care, such concern. I know the fear of seeing my body seem to deteriorate. I looked sick. There is no question that I was - and still am to a smaller degree.
And above all, I KNOW that our God is walking us through this valley with His arms wrapped tightly around us. He is there carrying me when I can not carry myself. He nurtured my soul, and taught my heart, when the only verses I could wrap my mind around were Psalm 23 and James 1. He did a work in our family and in our marriage that is beyond what ever could be accomplished on our own. My God is a good God. And as trivial as our trial was and is compared to the rest of the world, compared to those suffering from terminal illness, compared to those without jobs, compared to those who do not have the Lord... it still has brought us nearer to Him, nearer to the cross, and in sweeter intimacy with each other.
I am thankful for what has happened, because I see my sweet Lord in every single part, and I know He does all things for His glory. He is good. And we are so very thankful for a good start to recovery. I don't deserve it. But thanks be to God, He has given it!!
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17